20 Apps to Boost Your Self-Growth

I often share handy apps on my Instagram account – apps that help me grow, that inspire me & are deeply rooted in my daily life – apps that helped me in my journey of self-growth, spirituality & health.

I linked the names of the apps to the Apple Store for your convenience. This is not sponsored in any way, just a fan.

Personal growth

Shine

Having Shine is like having your own personal mental health coach at one touch. You get a daily Shine, or a check-in, featuring a new subject every weekday and an attached guided meditation + extra tools, such as: journalling, being grateful, checking in on your mood, etc.

Besides that, there is also the Shine community, where you are surrounded with like-minded people and can discuss the daily topic.

You unlock many more features with a Premium subscription, and they often have great limited deals on their paid, yearly subscriptions.

Happiness Planner

The Happiness Planner has become a part of my daily ritual. I love planning, and this app makes it easy and beautiful, plus you can sync it with the desktop version totally for free. Again, if you’d like to unlock extra features, be sure to upgrade.

Sanity & Self

Sanity & Self is your base for self-care and exclusive help and chats with experts. It offers mediations, podcasts, interesting reads and always someone who can help you & you can count on. However, the free content is very limited, so you’d be better off upgrading to the paid version.

Mindventure

Mindventure takes you on a journey through your own inner world. Plan and keep track of your habits, your day, your goals, on a unique way, on your own “road” towards becoming your best self. Like the word venture says, it’s a journey, an adventure through your life. The concept is very unique, fun and out-of-the box! Again, totally for free.

Mindvalley

Mindvalley is my favourite personal growth resource. I learned so much with their free masterclasses and interesting videos. Their app offers quests, which are about all kinds of subjects that have to do with personal growth and taught by many experts in the field.

Again, choose your fields of interest in which you want to learn more or improve and voila! Mindvalley often offers huge discounts on yearly packages of unlimited content, so keep an eye on those if you can’t get enough of it.

This is also a perfect part of your morning routine if you follow the move-reflect-grow method during your first hour of the day. Their quests are 20 min long. Perfect timing!

Remente

Remente was actually my very first self-care app I ever downloaded. Honestly? It was like coaching. It had a huge impact in my life and it got me started on the first steps of my self-growth journey. Fill in your wheel of life and update it regularly, check in with yourself daily and learn from lots of recourses and tools for you to work on yourself. The fun thing is they have resources themselves which are integrated within your profile. For example: if you start a 7-day course on becoming more fit, you will see the course on your to-do list every day for the next 7 days (unless you change it).

I immediately tried out their premium subscription to unlock the content, and as it was only around €30 for a whole year, I found that to be a great investment.

Meditation

Insight Timer

Insight Timer is the biggest meditation library. There are more people on this meditation app than all the others (Calm, Mindbliss,…) combined. That is for a good reason: there is so much content, so many experts, so many themes, and guided meditations. I also love their Sleep tool and their Timer. It’s for free, and you can upgrade to receive offline meditations, unlock courses, and use their advanced player which allows you to repeat or fast forward a track.

Breethe

Just the fact that this app has a soothing background music while opened, puts it high on my list! Besides that, this app let you choose your main goals you want to reach through mediation and then gives you the right content to reach them.

Oak

Oak is a great app to try out breathing exercises. Their free application offers themed meditations and breathing exercises to focus, calm or become awake. I often use their “Awake” breathing exercise during the day instead of a coffee. And I promise you, it works! You also earn fun badges the more sessions you do, which is a nice motivation.

Balance

Balance is the perfect app if you’re looking for personalised meditations. This app adapts to your level, preferences, and experience and utilises its algorithm to improve your meditation skills. I fell in love with it the first time I used it, and I also got hooked on their personalised 10-days programs, which motivates you to finish it and then hop on to a higher level. Again, this is totally for free – they had a free year of premium subscription during Covid-19.

Simple Habit

Simple Habit is a perfect meditation app if you’re in need of quick meditations at nay point during the day.

It has a super easy tool called “on the go’ which allows you to quickly tap on a theme you’d like to tackle right now – After Work, SOS, Taking A Break,…and you can adapt the time from 5-20 minutes.

It has helped me a lot during commuting, a break at work or just a quick break in between handling tasks.

Spirituality

Pattern

Pattern gives you insights based on your horoscope. The fun thing about it is: you get daily “patterns” – that are accurately true – and you can connect with Facebook to see the pattern between you and your friends. You learn about things you have in common, how your relationship looks like, and more fun & interesting facts and tips.

Moonly

Moonly is a beautiful app for all the spiritual goddesses out there. It offers your personal spiritual guidance, affirmations, runes, daily horoscope and more.

It comes in very handy as it gives you access to all your daily spiritual practices, all in one app!

It starts out free, but to unlock more features you have to upgrade to a paid subscription.

MOON

Moon is a very simple, aesthetic and accurate app about the moon cycle & phase. It’s great to count down the days until a full moon and it offers a great view of the moon & the stars.

Soulvana

Soulvana by Mindvalley is the resource to broaden your spiritual horizons, learn more about several themes & surround yourself by like-minded people, your soul tribe.

Health

Flo

This one is for the ladies. Flo tracks, predicts & supports your monthly cycle in a way that no app can – with courses, a community, secret chats & even a medical chat when you log certain symptoms. it is totally free, but there is a way to be included in the Premium subscription.

AYD – Ashtanga Yoga Days

This app is for the yogis out there! More specifically, Ashtanga Yogis! This app allows you to log your yoga sessions and its so detailed you can even log which pose precisely you did and how your balance, flexibility and effort was. You’re immediately part of a community and you see who had practiced today as well.

Zero

This is for the fasting people! Zero is a informative tracker that helps you to keep track of your fasting and provides important facts and information.

Books

Blinkist

Blinkist is the perfect tool if you’re short on time and big on book cravings! You can choose to either read or listen to your favourite book. I find it helpful to read informative books. Although I like to los myself in a book, sometimes it’s nice to immediately get the lesson out of it. Again, there is a paid version which allows you to unlock more content.

Charity

ShareTheMeal

ShareTheMeal is a great initiative that allows you to support all sorts of projects of the United Nations World Food Programme.

You can choose between which project you want to support or you can start a subscription and choose freely any amount.

The beautiful thing about this app is that you see how many families you have fed with your contributions and how many meals you have provided.

You can follow the whole process through the app – how these persons receive your contributions, what they bought with it and how they bought it.

I hope these apps will help you in growing and learning new things everyday. Remember that it’s important to take care of yourself. It doesn’t always mean eat snacks or get a manicure: sometimes you need to dig deeper and have a nice chat with someone. Especially during these challenging times, it is normal to want some support and guidance along the way.

These apps are not just apps on a phone: there are experts behind creating the content in a way that serves your wellbeing and that of others.

Furthermore, as your favourite life coach & travel coach, I am always there for you. Learn more about my coaching here. You can schedule a free intake interview with me here.

Advertentie

How to Deal with Summer Blues & Post-Travel Blues

It’s summer time, and last week I shared tips on how to savour your summer and get the most out of it. Because we all deserve happiness.

Especially in a pandemic, many are comparing these times to pre-pandemic lives, pre-pandemic summers, full of festivals, clubs, bars, travel… freedom.

It does not mean just because this summer is different than other summers, that it is less than other summers.

It is so important to practice mindfulness, because if we keep comparing the present to the past, and we keep looking at the present with lenses of the past, we become sad because we only see what is now gone.

We should make the best out of these times, without being held back by others.

Whether you are going on a holiday or not, these tips will help you beat summer blues and gently, mindfully, navigate through the summer and low moods.

Dealing With Summer Blues

– Practice gratitude for what’s here right now – instead of comparing to the past

We are champions in focusing on what is not here. That festival that’s cancelled, that trip that you took before covid that your brain made up to be the most amazing time- not only do we tend to romanticise our memories, and only remember and focus on the good parts, we lose sense of what’s in front of us right now.

That is why it is so important to take off those glasses with lenses of the past, and put on our new glasses, with lenses that show the present moment.

By realising what we are grateful for, we automatically bring ourselves back into the present moment and train our brain to focus on the good and positive things, instead of what’s missing.

– Schedule in time to do things you love

When in doubt, always choose yourself. Plan in enough time to pour into your cup and recharge yourself. This can look like me-time, alone time, a walk, a run, going to the hairdresser, going to the movies (which I did this week, for the first time alone, and it ws not at all so scary or lonely as you would think it is!)

– Greet blue moods with self-love & compassion

If there is one thing mindfulness teaches us, it’s that everything passes, you are never alone and compassion is key.

Next time you find yourself in a blue, down, dark mood, accept it. Accept it and show yourself compassion as you would to a friend who would be feeling the same. You would not let them feel bad for feeling bad, would you? Or immediately try to do something to make them happy again? No, you would be there for them, patiently, and accept in whatever mood they are.

We don’t judge the clouds for being there. So, why should we judge ourselves for feeling moody, down, or blue? It’s not your fault. After accepting and moving to gentle self-compassion, see if there is something you need right now. By this, I don’t mean drink your feelings away or eat your feelings away, but maybe journal about, have a good cry, or talk to someone about how you feel.

As I said before, an emotion is temporary. It is passing through. All you need to do is process it properly – instead of suppressing it.

Listen to my podcast to get help with navigating through difficult emotions ( there are a few ones, check it out here), and also a meditation on Insight Timer.

I hope these help you. If you experience low moods for a long period of time, please don’t hesitate to reach out to a mental health professional. Your mental health matters!

– Discover a new place or activity

Novelty, experiencing new things, has great benefits on our wellbeing. Physically, in our brain, there is some activity that has a direct correlation on our happiness. Our dopamine system in our brain stem, sends our dopamine transmitters to parts of the brain, which have a positive effect on our mood.

So, it is actually proven to improve our mood, and it’s also fun to get out there and try out something new. Even if it is trying a new type of food or drink, going to a museum, or travelling to a part of your city/country you have never been to before. Your brain will thank you, because it loves to absorb new information.

Dealing With Post-Travel Blues

– Journal during & after the trip

The mindful practice of journalling during or after your trip looks like documenting the highlights of your trip, your feelings and everything you want to put from your mind onto paper. It has a lot of benefits, as it allows you to get to know yourself better, see what is on your mind, and helps you remember the good moments.

– Go through souvenirs & photos

Here’s a tip: scroll through photos or souvenirs of past trips and see how your mood shifts. Spoiler alert: you’ll feel full of joy and gratitude for the beautiful experiences you’ve had and the moments you experienced. It will also remind you that good times have come, and bright times are ahead.

– Connect with others & share the experience

There’s nothing like human contact. While most of the activities I shared are done solo, definitely don’t hesitate to reach out to your close ones to tell them about how you feel, talk about your past trip – overall, schedule some quality time in with them. It will remind you of that part of home that is always there for you – family and friends. If you went on a trip with others, stay in touch! Maybe you will end up planning the next trip or simply savour the fun times you had.

Traveling is not only about the moments during the trip. The real savouring and good memories are the sweetest after the trip.

– Greet post-travel blues with gratitude for the good times

As mentioned before, definitely take your time to reflect back with gratitude. As the saying goes: “don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.” Cheesy, but true – and hey, what harm can one do with looking up flights online to scout for future trips, or dig into a travel guide to get some inspiration for the next trip?

Mindfulness to Savour Summer Vibes

It’s mid-year, and that means only one thing: it’s summer time.

Summer is a time to slow down, to disconnect, to spend more time in nature and mindfulness is the perfect companion for that. Mindfulness also helps you soaking in those summer vibes and savouring every moment. Moreover, it increases your joy, memory, peace and it decreases levels of stress, burnout and even depression.

This summer, whether you are on a holiday or not, try to include some mindfulness into your days. You’ll notice how slowing down improves your wellbeing and how you’ll be able to enjoy more and worry less.

Mindfulness is all about being present in this moment, being non-judgemental, compassionate and taking it slow. So don’t force yourself or worry too much about doing it right, because then, you’re missing the point. Remember kindness is a key component of mindfulness: kindness to others, but to start with: yourself!

Here are some easy and effortless ways to incorporate mindfulness into your sweet summer days:

1. Create a summer routine

What I’ve loved during this summer so far, is having my go-to new summer routine. Routines & rituals change throughout the seasons, depending on what season you are in – depending on your inner weather.

Maybe your summer routine is spending some time staring at the blue sky, sipping your coffee in the morning, taking your time to prepare breakfast and do a meditation or read a few pages. Or, maybe your routine involves some morning stretches and a freshly made smoothie.

How to create your routine

Ask yourself: what do you need in the morning, noon and/or evening? How can you honour yourself and nourish your mind, body and soul throughout the day? When are you willing and able to make time for you? Write a list of things you love to do to take care of yourself, or that might help you wake up, or fall asleep, and then slowly, incorporate them into your day.

How my routine looks like

My routine looks like this: a morning meditation, followed by my skin care routine, a morning coffee and a nourishing breakfast with fresh fruits. In the afternoon, I do my second meditation of the day, just before dinner time, to let go of the day and start fresh. Then, in the evening, I do some gentle, relaxing stretches and I fall asleep to… yes, you guessed it, a sleeping meditation! This routine nourishes me and it feels so good to honour myself three times a day.

2. Slow down

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: slow. down. Relax. Unclench your jaw, your eyebrows, relax your belly. You’re okay.

Nature does not hurry and yet everything is accomplished. Notice the difference between hurrying or rushing through your day versus taking the time.

I love to compare it with a hotel breakfast. Everyone loves a hotel breakfast, right? You wake up, get ready, go to the restaurant and a lovely buffet awaits you. You sit down, have your breakfast, enjoy the morning and it feels so good. Why? Because you take your time and prioritise having breakfast. You don’t multitask, you solo task. And that’s practising mindfulness, too.

How to slow down

Whether you’re on vacation or not, try to slow down just a little bit. You can do this by taking a break, taking some deep breaths (we tend to hold our breath when we’re too focus or rushing) or even do some stretches. Or simply, witness. You don’t have to do so much all the time. It’s okay to just be.

The benefits of doing nothing

The act of doing nothing has proven to be beneficial for our health, especially for our brain. It eliminates distractions and boosts your creativity. That’s why you have those brilliant ideas in the shower, during a meditation or right before going to bed: it’s a time and place where all the distractions fade away and you “empty.” your mind.

3. Journal

I love to describe journalling as: moving thoughts rom your mind onto paper. It allows you to let go of things, but also to get more clarity. Whenever I feel overwhelmed, unsure or like my mind is foggy, I do a free-flow session (writing down everything that comes into my mind) for about 15 minutes and I feel much better.

The benefits of journalling

Journalling has a lot of benefits, ranging from improving your mood, to helping you recognise patterns, set goals, identify negative thoughts, and increase positive self-talk.

If I were to ask you: who is the person you talk to the most? You would probably answer: a spouse, parent, sibling, friend,… but actually, it’s you. You are the person you talk the most with – in your mind.

Journalling brings you closer to yourself. It’s like having a conversation with yourself, as you often do in your mind, but only on paper. This allows you to receive more clarity and awareness about what’s on your mind.

What to journal about

Journalling can look like writing down how your day was, writing down 10 things you are grateful for (highly recommend doing this in the morning or whenever you feel a bit off) or writing down what you want to achieve, do or feel on the day/week/month (setting an intention).

If you are on a trip, you can document and savour the highlights by journalling about them. It will make you feel more appreciative about it, as you reflect back on them, your gratitude levels increase, which increase your “happiness hormones“! You can also write a love letter to yourself, saying how much you love and appreciate yourself, to get through summer blues after a trip or at any given time you feel a bit challenged.

4. Use your senses

To bring yourself back into this very moment, try this exercise:

name 5 things you can see

name 4 things you can feel

name 3 things you can hear

name 2 things you can smell

name 1 thing you can taste

Your senses bring you right back into this moment. And that leads you right to a moment of inner peace. It is sometimes challenging to describe mindfulness, so I encourage you to use your senses next time you are drinking, eating, walking, listening, or during any time of the day you remember to be mindful.

You will notice it automatically calms you mind, as you only focus on what you’re sensing in that moment. There is no space for thinking about the future or the past. And, as numerous studies have proven, time spent in the present moment is time spent in a calm, peaceful and happy state.

How a vacation makes you happier

What does this have to do with vacation? Novelty (experience something new) has proven to increase your brain health. Being in a new environment, our brain automatically takes in all this new information – a new scenery, environment, culture, maybe a few words in a new language -, allowing us to learn new things, which our brains absolutely love.

The 7 Types of Rest & How to Refill Your Cup

Resting. It’s such a necessity, but often overlooked in our lives. We are so focused on achieving, on doing, and being busy has become a sort of “proof” to others that you’re important and have a life filled with appointments. But what if it doesn’t have to be this way?

What if you could live a life, getting plenty of rest when you need so, and show up as your best to yourself and others?

A belief I’ve been “unlearning” for a few months now is that our worth is attached to our productivity. The more we do, the more we achieve, the better we feel. But also, we feel like we need to deserve our rest.

What if you could give yourself permission to rest?

Mindfulness is a continuous journey and it continues teaching me so much. Giving yourself permission to slow down, but also resting, is one of those things.

And, as always, it starts with bringing in awareness.

I always say: fill your own cup first, because you can’t pour from an empty cup. Translation: take care of yourself first, because you’re no use even to others when you’re exhausted, and not your best self.

So, in order to know what you need most, you need to ask yourself: where am I pouring out the most and not pouring back in?

Next, it’s time to find the best way to refill your cup. Maybe you’ve got your self-care routine perfectly settled already or maybe you’re not sure what you really need right now. Wherever you are, it’s okay.

One of the tools that might help you is this list of 7 types of rest. Because yes, rest is more than napping – it is replenishing and rejuvenating yourself where you most need it. So let’s dive into it!

Physical rest

Looks like: being physically tired, feeling drained, in need of some extra sleep or movement.

How to: firstly, there’s active physical rest: working out, going for a walk, dancing, but also, there’s passive: napping, getting a massage, laying down. Both give you more energy and replenish your body. It’s up to you to see which one you need more. Sometimes, moving when you’re tired actually gives you more energy. But if you’ve moved too much, it can be time to relax and slow down.

Mental rest

Looks like: feeling like your mind is “full”, feeling tired or overwhelmed after focusing very hard, difficulty concentrating, having a “foggy” mind

How to: noting down thoughts to pass them from your mind onto paper a.k.a. journalling, or meditating to clear your mind and let go of the day, also doing any activity that allows you to focus on something else for example painting, playing a game,…

Sensory rest

Looks like: feeling overwhelmed, needing time or space alone, feeling overly sensitive

How to: close your eyes for a few minutes, take some deep breaths, nap, spend time in nature, or other less sensory places – quiet places, without many triggers or people

Creative rest

Looks like: feeling uninspired, stuck, or unsure what to do next, lack of creativity in your projects

How to: take inspired action & release pressure and perfectionism – just start and try something, it does not have to be perfect. Talk/listen to an inspiring person (hello, podcasts!), spend time in nature (when is this not a cure, really?), travel! (this might be the best way to boost your creativity – leave your comfort zone, set foot onto a new land, literally, even if it is domestic travel).

Emotional rest

Looks like: feeling emotionally drained or overwhelmed, going through emotional times, experiencing feelings and unsure about where they come from, suppressing feelings you are not sure how to address or you don’t want to feel

How to: take time to feel feelings and express them rather than suppressing them or postponing it – know they are temporary, so invite compassion more than comparison to times when you were feeling better/happier. Take a break from work (if possible) if that is causing you stress and schedule in moments to take a break and tune in with how you are feeling.

Social rest

Looks like: feeling drained from spending time with too many/certain people that drain your energy more than recharging you, also: feeling drained after being social a lot or spending time with a lot of people, or the opposite: feeling lonely and not nourished by the relationships in your life

How to: spend time with yourself and turn the loneliness into solitude (enjoy your time alone by taking small steps in getting comfortable being by yourself), or try to hang out with people who recharge you and fill your cup, not people who are “energy vampires”

Spiritual rest

Looks like: feeling lost and disconnected from the world or others around you, feeling sad, having big questons about life and being unsure

How to: connect with something bigger than yourself – it does not have to be religious. I am not religious, but I am spiritual, and that has helped me a lot in navigating through these feelings and realising we are all connected and part of the same oneness. Know that you are never alone, you are part of something much bigger. Try meditation (try a loving kindness meditation or group meditation), try our community involvement or, if you are religious, prayer.

I really hope this has helped you or inspired you to rest, recharge and relax – even when you are not burnt out or exhausted or even tired. It’s okay to give yourself permission to rest, you don’t have to wait until you’re burnt out. And as you see, rest is more than physical or mental, there are many aspects to it. Take care of yourself and remember to be mindful: compassionate, kind, non-judgmental and aware.

Mindfulness to Prioritise Your Needs & Combat Burnout

Phew. What a month. Am I the only one having experienced challenges where my confidence and personal boundaries were tested? Where my my self-care on all levels got super important and fatigue came to say hi on the regular? I know I’m not alone at this, we never are.

Us humans are a pro at do-ing. Constantly being ON, being active, achieving, ticking off boxes on our to-do lists, reaching targets, crushing deadlines, getting results. After a year of living in a pandemic, with many in and out of a lockdown or quarantine, our nervous system has had the chance to rewind. To slow down. To step back from our busy lives, professional and social, and retreat within our homes, families, and ourselves.

However, now that the line between working from home and living at work got a lot thinner, it’s especially important to set clear boundaries, take our time to disconnect and come from a place of rest and being completely ourselves, more than living in response to our external experiences and keep saying yes to everything and everyone but ourselves.

Exhaustion, burnout, fatigue, stress, anxiety are all consequences of how we react, how we handle our daily lives and how we take care of ourselves before tackling the day. As a Mindfulness teacher, I’m happy to share with you some tips that have helped me and my clients handle fatigue, stress, anxiety, burnout and come back to a place of rest, worthiness and deep inner peace. I bumped into these tips while listening to the world’s greatest leaders on wellbeing, health and personal development, especially the last week and month, when I also needed it the most.

Listen to your body right now: what is it telling you? How do you feel, and where do you feel it?

Self-Check Ins

The first step is becoming aware of those signs of exhaustion and demotivation. You can do this by taking regular breaks, setting a timer every 2 hours to take a deep breath and check in with yourself.

If you’re feeling emotionally drained from work, try checking in with yourself and stop doing things for the sake of doing. Ask yourself: why are you ticking off to do lists? Does it come from a place of have-to, of fear, of exhaustion? Or does it come from a place of get-to, or excitement, of motivation?

My no 1 tip is: take care of yourself first. Fill your cup first, because you cannot pour from an empty cup. You have nothing left to give if your cup is empty.

So, where do you start? Get enough sleep, drink enough water, get some exercise (even if that is gentle stretching, going for a walk or doing some yoga), eat nutritious meals. Take care of yourself. Your body and mind are interconnected, science keeps proving us.

Giving Yourself Grace

What is very important is to practice acceptance and self compassion. You are doing your best. You are only human. You are worthy of happiness, of rest, you do not need to deserve it. We tend to have forgotten about that in our society. It is as if we have to achieve, get results, first, before we can enjoy life and rest. We feel bad if we do so, without any reason – while actually, who says we can’t?

Your worth is not attached to your productivity. If you catch yourself getting off trail and trying to prove yourself, overwork, for the sake of getting approval, or validation from other: be gentle with yourself, and come back. Take a deep breath and come back to yourself. Remind yourself you are worthy, no matter what.

Retreat Within

Give yourself permission to rest and go against what society thinks humans are: robots.

Honor what you need. Do you need to tune off social media? Do it. Do you need more sleep? Prioritise it. Do you feel like you need to stretch your legs more? Go for a walk or run. Prioritise your needs.

Retreating within and finding a still space within is something that has become less and less common, but so important. Sometimes, we just want to tune out all the noise of the outside world and find that space within, that space of stillness, of silence.

Your intuition always tells you what is best for you, you just need to listen to it and tune into the right frequency. As with radios, we can be tuned into certain frequencies. We can change those. You wouldn’t listen to a rock radio channel 24/7, right? Sometimes, you want silence or a classical music radio channel. So why don’t we do the same for our minds?

Not only our body needs attention, our minds needs it to: self-compassion, positive self-talk and meditating, retreating within is of utmost importance.

If you/re new to meditation, don’t worry. Even a few deep breaths and a timer for 2 min can get you in the right space and leave you feel refreshed and recharged. The more you do it, the more you will notice the benefits (outside your meditation practise itself) and the more often you will practice, because you will love going back to that place within.

Remember, meditation is a practice. It should not be perfect and it is not perfect. It is about practising taking a moment for yourself to sit down, repeat a mantra, count your breaths or visualise something that relaxes you. There are so many different forms and ways of meditation, I really encourage you to experiment and find what works for you.

Routines & Rituals

Routines serve as the building foundation of your wellbeing and it consists out of the things that make you feel good and that help you be the best, most inspired version of yourself. As I mentioned before, starting with the basic rules of health: getting enough sleep, nourishing meals, hydration, and movement automatically put your body in its best position.

Two routines that have helped me so much lately to come from a place of rest are my morning & evening routine. When I get up, the first I do is meditate. I tune in with myself before I tune in with the world. It allows me to come from my place, my true self, rather than being thrown around like a bottle on a stormy sea, moving from the one thing that calls our attention to the other. It’s about reacting from the inside rather than reacting from the outside.

What will you add to your routines or rituals?

Small habits throughout the day that have the deepest impact: checking in with yourself through deep breathing, sipping some water for hydrating, going for a walk, stretching and taking time for your tea/coffee/lunch/dinner. Do them mindfully, with your fullest attention, instead of rushing through it.

We tend to live with this one belief: whatever comes next, is more important than what is happening right now. Whatever happens next, is more urgent than what is happening right now. If we keep living like this, we always miss out on this very moment. And this very moment is the only moment when life happens.

How Mindfulness Makes You Happier

Happy international day of happiness! With everything that is going on in the world, we can all use a day like this one: to focus on what brings us joy and other positive feelings.

Mindfulness has been scientifically proven to increase positive feelings. As a mindfulness coach, I notice many of my students feel happier, more accepting and more grateful after practicing mindfulness regularly.

Mindfulness has 3 main components.

Firstly, it is all about bringing in awareness to the present moment: to your feelings, emotions, thoughts, sensations, surroundings,… noticing whatever is going on inside and around you. We train our minds to do this by simply exercises and practices such as mindfulness meditation, grounding practices through our 5 senses and more.

Next, we have a certain attitude of openness, curiosity and non-judgement. Allowing whatever is, to be. To be curious on how you are thinking or feeling and allow it to be there, giving yourself compassion.

This is the part of taking in the observer seat. I always say: instead of serving our thoughts or reality, we observe them. This is all about non-identification. When we observe it, we are that which is aware of them. That means we are not our thoughts or emotions but that which is aware of them. And this is where the magic begins. Because then, you can make conscious choices to what you’ll do next.

And then we come to the third component; acceptance. Not fight or resist whatever happens (often negative feelings) but instead allow it to be there. Not making yourself feel bad for feeling this way and not criticizing yourself but rather showing yourself compassion.

Mindfulness is also about compassion. There are 3 aspects to compassion: 1. Knowing you are not alone. 2. Knowing whatever you are experiencing is temporary. And 3., non-identification; knowing you are not your thoughts and feelings but rather the one observing them.

So how can mindfulness improve our levels of happiness?

First of all, when you apply the three components of awareness, attitude and acceptance, you will find that you will be kinder to yourself and others . You will have less stress. You will be a better decision maker. You will be more openminded and accepting of what is happening which allows you to not het caught up in a fast automatic response (sympathetic nervous system) but rather come from a place of rest and your own conscious awareness (parasympathetic nervous system). You will not judge yourself or beat yourself up for feeling a certain way, but you will learn to accept it and show yourself grace with the 3 aspects of compassion.

These benefits are all scientifically proven. Mindfulness has been around for thousand of years. Isn’t it amazing how powerful we are?

You will also notice by bringing in your attention into this present moment, that most of your worries and anxiety float away. They stem from either comparing your situation to the past and being sad over what’s already gone, or worrying about the future and trying to control the outcome of things.

That is why mindfulness has helped me deal with my anxiety so much. When we are present into this moment, we automatically unlock joy and gratitude for that which we have. We snap back from the automatic pilot we are in most of the timed and come back to this moment and to ourselves. When we realize we have a choice: get caught up in our thoughts or watch them pass by, we can take action as we please. Same thing for mindfulness at the workplace, relationships, eating habits/disorder, … the key is to be present. That creates a space in which we have control to act.

Many studies have shown the act of being present / practicing mindfulness increases levels of joy, gratitude, happiness and acceptance of things because of this mindful approach of non-judgement, compassion and curiosity.

Psychology today recently posted a new study in which participants were taught the first part of mindfulness which is called monitoring: the awareness + attitude, simply noticing what is going on and taking in the seat of the observer, non-judgemental, and another group added the acceptance part: accepting what is going on.

This is what they concluded:

Results showed that while all the active mindfulness interventions (monitoring only and monitoring + acceptance) reduced negative feelings equally from before to after the study, they differed in their effects on positive feelings. For improving positive feelings, the monitoring + acceptance group had a significantly stronger effect, compared to monitoring only and control conditions.

Psychologytoday.com

These results mean that practicing mindfulness may make us happier only if we learn to tolerate, make space for, and accept whatever experiences arise, rather than judging them, letting them define us, or running away from them. Perhaps acceptance leads to a mindset shift in which we can let go and be ok with things as they are, rather than focusing on what we don’t have, what we should have done, or what might happen in the future. Letting go of trying to control everything can make space for you to take a breath and feel the joy of the present moment, whether it’s walking your dog, hugging your child, having lunch with a friend, or doing interesting work.

Psychologytoday.com

Mindfulness is more than practicing it regularly: mindful living is all about having this open approach to life and be mindful of even your daily chores like showering or cooking or eating. It’s about not running away or beating yourself up for feeling a certain way, too. When you’re in the present moment, it’s a peaceful feeling and you give your mind and body the chance to slow down and actually live your life, that is after all happening right now.

If you’re keen on learning more about mindfulness, download my free e-book, A Guide to Mindful Living, here!

If you want to get started with mindfulness and jump into my 10-day mindfulness course which features all the ways you can bring in mindfulness into your life and start meditating, practice gratitude, shift your mindset, practice more self-love, create healthy habits and so much more: join Flow, my signature mindfulness and self growth course, here. It’s currently 50% off so don’t miss this limited lower price!

6 Mindful Ways to Take Care of Yourself

No matter which season we are in, not only our bodies need some nourishment – our souls & minds need it too. Especially now, a year into this pandemic, we all deserve a serious pat on the back for making it so far. However, often life gets in the way – we all have our daily work & tasks to complete. Often, this constant running towards do-ing, and not giving our bodies our minds the change to be, leaves us tired, drained, burn out. Luckily, there’s ways to avoid this. Here are 6 mindful ways to take care during winter season.

1. Slow Down – Practice Mindfulness Meditations

Mindfulness invites us to slow down and live in this present moment. It allows us to snap out of the auto-pilot mode and tune in with our reality by simply observing it and becoming aware of it.

This way, we can actually live in this moment, and not only enjoy it so much more, but also tune in more with our bodies & minds as we do so.

If you’re on auto-pilot mode all the time, rushing through your day, and not being aware of how you actually feel, the time flies by. The days, weeks and months fly by. And before you know it, you’ve actually spent so much time living on auto-pilot mode – doing things without thinking, without being aware that you are doing them.

You can practice mindfulness on many different ways. There are mindfulness meditations, breathing exercises, and actually you can turn any activity into a mindful activity. Lately, I love indulging myself into mindful cooking. Normally, as I don’t like cooking that much, I tend to rush it and get it over with quickly. I’ve noticed that taking my time and cooking slowly & mindfully, makes the whole process a lot more enjoyable.

If you’d like to learn more about mindfulness, download my free e-book, A Guide to Mindful Living, here, with lots of tips and written in a clear Q&A- format to answer the most asked questions & the best ways to practice it, beginner-proof, but also effective if you’re more advanced.

Check out my free mindfulness meditations in English & Dutch on Insight Timer here.

2. Mindful Eating & Moving

Let’s continue with the basics: during winter, or any season really, it’s important to get enough vitamins, minerals, fresh air & sunlight. Eat enough veggies & fruit, and maybe get creative on finding new ways to include them in your meals.

I’m normally not a huge fan of soups, but it has become my favourite meal in winter. You cannot rush eating soup, which is a great way to eat mindfully & slowly.

Smoothies on the other hand ensure I get my daily dose of fruits. Any hot beverages or meals are perfect to be enjoyed mindfully. The benefits of this? Less binge-eating, weight control, more enjoyment, better digestion and reduce of stress.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Anaïs | Mindfulness & Travel (@anaseastheday)

Moving your body will also help you in fighting winter blues or lockdown laziness – even if it’s a 10-minute stretch sessions, your body will thank you!

Next time you go on a walk, try to pay attention to everything you can feel & see around you. Mindful walking reduces stress, improves your mood, boosts your energy, and helps you connect more with your body.

Listen here to my podcast on mindful eating and how to improve your relationship with food, your body image & be more kind and compassionate towards yourself.

3. Relax & Recharge Guilt-Free

As I mentioned earlier, this season is a season of introspection, of rest. When we look at nature – which is ultimately, our greatest teacher – we see that animals hold their winter hibernation, lakes freeze, trees lose their leaves and everything stops for a while and slows down.

There’s no denying that us humans are a part, a product of nature too. And as such, it’s important to honour mother nature and allows ourselves to follow its example.

Allow yourself to rest and relax. Let go of the need to do things, constantly. It’s okay to do absolutely nothing. Rest is also productive.

As SCL Health says: “When you turn off all distractions, it allows space for your subconscious to expand, ultimately boosting your creativity. When distracted, our mind jumps to the most obvious answers when trying to solve problems. But once you take the time to exhaust those options, you end up thinking of breakthrough, inventive answers that can lead to some life-changing ideas.”

SCL Health

So who knows, maybe that hour or day of putting all tasks aside will benefit you more than you think.

What helps me a lot is making a priority list – a list of things that need to get done first. This helps prevent burn out as you focus on only what’s important instead of being overwhelmed by a huge list of tasks.

Letting yourself rest and recharge is the ultimate gift you can give yourself. After all, nothing ever good comes from pushing through and not listening to our bodies.

4. Connect with your close ones

Whether you’re in lockdown as I am, or you’re as free as a bird: having enough contact with the people closest to you is important for your emotional health, with directly links to your overall health.

Whether it’s a simple text, a video call, or having digital dates (or real life dates if you’re one of the lucky!) cherish these times with your loved ones. Enjoy it.

Also here is mindfulness a beautiful way to improve your relationships and actually enjoy them even more by tapping into the present moment.

5. Dive Into Gratitude

If you’re feeling the winter blues, try this: write a friend or family member a letter or just a text, saying how much you appreciate having them in your life. Show gratitude for them. Research has shown that practising gratitude improves your levels of happiness and even boosts your health.

For me, saying my daily thanks has become a habit – one I love the most. We tend to look at what goes wrong or what we don’t have. Gratitude shows us the other side, a side I think we should all visit more often.

Express your thankfulness with me on this meditation on Insight Timer!

6. Rely on Rituals

If there’s anything I’ve learned the past years about habits, it’s that the right ones bring out the best benefits for you mental, emotional & physical health.

Setting a clear morning & evening ritual helps your body adjust to your daily rhythm and the upcoming day or night.

Instead of diving into your day as soon as you wake up, try taking some time for yourself to get into your day. Starting the day slowly without all the distractions is how you preserve more energy.

Here are some tips for a mindful morning:

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Anaïs | Mindfulness & Travel (@anaseastheday)

On the other hand, closing down your nights calms down your mind & body, making the transition from always being on and awake, to allowing rest & relaxation lead the way.

Sleep experts say limiting your exposure to blue light (or any screen really) benefits your sleep, as well as keeping your bedroom dark & quiet. A mindfulness meditation to relax, a cup of calming tea, and a book to read until you drift off are some of my essentials this winter.

I genuinely hope these tips have helped you in taking care of yourself during winter (or any season, really). It’s so important to check in with ourselves. Your mental health is as important as your physical health. And yes, it comes before work. If you notice yourself tired, stressed or drained, stop. Come back to this moment. Take some deep breaths or whatever helps you in getting back into your day. Maybe it’s a power nap or a midday shower. Stay safe!

Download my free e-book on Mindful Living here. 🤍✨

f you want to relax and retreat together with beautiful women on a mindfulness retreat, to find more calm, connection and clarity, join us on my Mindfulness Retreat this summer in Portugal!

Find more information here and check out the Instagram page here.

Bring a girl friend and get both 10% off (only valid for a limited time + spots are running out for august!) 👉🏼

Mindful Eating 101: A Beginner’s Guide

In honour of #EDAwarenessweek, and in honour of all who are battling with an ED, I decided to write this piece about mindful eating – bringing in mindfulness not only during eating, but also before and afterwards.

What is mindfulness, and what is mindful eating? Why and how can we mindfully eat? How does it relate to distorted eating? Find out the answers to these questions below.

What is mindfulness?

First of all, let me explain what mindfulness exactly is. Mindfulness is about bringing your attention to this moment, and focusing on what is going on in your head (noticing thoughts), body (noticing emotions and feelings) and environment. As we practice awareness, we bring in compassion, non-judgment, and curiosity. We want to come from a place of observing our reality instead of serving it, and stop living on automatic pilot, without any awareness of what is going on.

Now, what is mindful eating all about?

Before I explain it, I’d love if you can take the time to reflect on these questions:

• What was the last thing you ate today?
• How did it really taste like?
• What did it look like?
• What was the texture like?
• How long did it take you to eat it?
• Were was your attention while you were eating it?
• Were you focus on the food, or watching, reading something else?
• How did you feel before you ate?
• How did you feel after you ate?

If I would ask you these questions after you went to a Michelin restaurant, you would probably give me way more details about the food then if I were to ask you about your homemade lunch. That’s the beauty of our senses: we can use them to focus our attention back into this moment. Because that expensive meal was so special, you used all your senses to fully savour the moment. By doing it the other way, by engaging our senses, we can make every moment count.

As you might have noticed, mindful eating is about fully focusing on what you are eating. It is also about removing distractions that might keep you from eating mindfully, such as our scrolling through your phone, reading the newspaper, continuing with any activity such as working or even watching the tv.

However, mindful eating starts before the eating part. It is about noticing when you think about food, whether you are really hungry or an addiction or craving or habit is kicking in, through listening to our bodies and bringing in awareness. Awareness, not judgement – we want to not judge ourselves or judge sensations, thoughts or feelings that may arise. We simply notice that they are there, instead of suppressing them of making ourselves feels worse about it.

When you can bring your kind, gentle, non-judgemental curiosity to this, you can then take action as you please – eat when you are hungry, fulfil the craving, continue the habit, feed the addiction – or not. And that is where the power lays: the moment you create the awareness, you create a space, a space where you have the freedom to choose what you do next.

In a scenario of disordered eating, this becomes very interesting. Because after creating awareness, we can bring in compassion to ourselves – hey, it’s okay you are having these thoughts, it’s okay you want to do this. I don’t judge you. You are human. You are doing your best. (space to choose) – so this time, let’s take care and let’s do what it best for the body (however that looks like for you).

Why should I practice mindful eating?

Mindful eating has been proven to reduce binge-eating, eating disorders and illnesses/conditions related to it (obesitas, being overweight, too high calorie intake).

Even if you aren’t struggling with an eating disorder, mindful eating can help you in enjoying your food more, being more present while eating it and savouring it much more than if you were focused on something else and eating without being aware of it.

As we become of our thoughts, and sensations, we have the conscious choice on what to do next – for people with an eating disorder, this can be focusing on the positive and realising that the inner critic voice in your head is not telling the truth and is not who you are, but instead try to bring in some positive self-talk.

When your mind is clouded with negative thoughts about your self-image, body posture or weight, it’s great that you are aware of that, because now you can realise they are just thoughts and you bring in some of your own positive, empowering thoughts, and even do something that is good for you and your body.

How can I practice mindful eating?

When you notice thoughts or sensations that you are getting hungry, or craving a certain type of food, ask yourself: how does my body feel? Am I hungry, or just craving food? (you know when you are hungry when you are open to eating something different than the food you are craving, if you only want 1 type of food it is a craving)

When you are able to check in with your body first – again, with curiosity, non-judgment and compassion – you can give your body what it needs. It is not bad to have a craving, it is not bad to be hungry, we are practising simply noticing it.

Next, when you have brought your awareness to it, and you decided to eat and you have your food in front of you, ask yourself: How does it look like? What is the texture like? What are the colours like? How does it taste like? Take your time with eating, fully savour it, and engage with your 5 senses. What helps is imagining it is a expensive meal in a 5-star restaurant. This automatically allows us to focus on it more, because it would be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

How does mindfulness even relate to disordered eating?

Our world is full of distractions. Bringing in mindfulness whether you have an ED or not, can make you feel better in your own skin, can help increase self-compassion, non-judgment and can help you get out of your mind and back into this moment, making informed decisions and taking action as you think is best.

Are there any studies or proof that it has a positive impact?

Yes, there are studies conducted that prove that mindfulness has a positive impact on people struggling with an eating disorder. These studies were small-scaled and call for further investigation and more experiments, since the results were promising.

“Another study found that mindfulness-based group treatment may be effective for patients suffering from bulimia nervosa. Participants described their transformation from emotional and behavioural extremes, disembodiment and self-loathing to greater self-awareness, acceptance and compassion, according to this study.”

https://themeadowglade.com/mindfulness-and-eating-disorders/

The present study is an exploratory examination of the efficacy of the application of mindfulness-based interventions to the treatment of eating disorders. It employs a systematic review technique in which terms from the Psychological Index Terms of the American Psychological Association (APA) were chosen and analyzed in conjunction with Boolean operators. Using data obtained by the online consultation of references from 12 different bibliographical databases, 8 studies were included in the systematic review. Each study reported satisfactory results, although trial qualities were variable and sample sizes were small. Nonetheless, the current study found initial evidence supporting the effectiveness of mindfulness-based interventions to the treatment of eating disorders. The application of mindfulness-based interventions to the treatment of eating disorders remains a promising approach worthy of further research.

The application of mindfulness to eating disorders treatment: a systematic review
Rocío Guardiola Wanden-Berghe ¹, Javier Sanz-Valero, Carmina Wanden-Berghe

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21181578/

Mindfulness seems to be a good candidate for improving your self-awareness and bringing in more compassion. That makes total sense, since the pillars of mindfulness are awareness, non-judgement, curiosity and compassion.

The fact that is has been scientifically proven and tested on people, is just amazing news – it proof us humans are capable of healing ourselves, not through only medication or other external factors, but from within, form our minds – mindfulness.

Have you tried mindful eating? I challenge you to try it out during your next meal. Notice what difference it makes!

3 Life-Changing Benefits of Mindfulness

Living mindfully means more than meditating, being calm all the time, or having no stress (that’s impossible and not the goal). Mindful living means making conscious choices instead of living on automatic pilot. It means living our truth, and getting closer to ourselves. I’d like to share with you some powerful lessons that I came across this week. These lessons reminded me that mindfulness and its benefits are so much more than less anxiety, more peace, better sleep,…🤍

1. From rushing to stopping & making conscious choices

Living mindfully means living in this moment. It means to get out of the spiral of rushing through our morning, day, week, month and whole life. It means slowing down and coming back to this very moment.

So, why it is so important to get out of the automatic pilote mode?

When we are in automatic pilot mode, it feels like we are on a treadmill, always going, not stopping for a moment, and doing most of our life automatically – without thinking.

This is not a bad thing of course. I love that I am able to walk without thinking, get in a car and drive without thinking about every little action, and other automatised things in our lives we’ve grown customed to.

It’s about the moments we do want to be present in, the actions we do want to experience, and our lives we don’t want to miss out on. It’s about being able to press pause, and stop rushing through life for a moment. When we are not thinking, our actions flow automatically. When we are present, we can make our own decisions & act accordingly.

A great example is when you are having an argument. Most of us answer without listening. We talk fast, to answer the other person, but actually we have not really listened to them or we have not really thought about what we want to say. We automatically say something back, out of anger, frustration, or whatever is driving you at that moment. When we are mindful – present – we have the chance to pause, to not be lead by our emotions, and in that pause we have the chance to consciously respond.

That’s where the power of mindfulness lies in: conscious choices.

I learned this in handling my anxiety – it started with noticing I was beginning to feel anxious: I noticed my thoughts going in a spiral about a possible outcome about the future, I noticed my palms getting sweaty and my stomach turning around, and I also noticed I was sitting in a bus, totally at peace, undisturbed, and that this anxiety/negative stress was not necessary right now.

So after becoming aware of it, I consciously chose to guide my attention back to my breath – through counting my breaths and taking long, deep breaths. This allows my nervous system to calm down, and guide my mind and body back into this moment, away from the what-if scenarios in my mind.

2. From complaining to giving thanks & having enough

We live in a society that runs fast, as we discussed previously, We are constantly pushed to get a new phone, new car, new clothes, to always get more and more. It makes us feeling like we never have enough. When is it enough? When will we be fulfilled? The thrill of getting the newest phone only lasts a bit. it does not last forever. It fades, and then we satisfy ourselves with something else, and so it goes on and on.

Our society is often making us compare ourselves to others. Our judgmental minds then step in and does not really help us – we are our own worst critics. This amplifies the feeling of not being good enough, not having enough, not doing enough,…

How can mindfulness stop us from the treadmill or wanting more and allow us to appreciate what we have?

By showing gratitude, and focusing on all the things we can be grateful for and say thanks for, we shift our minds from lack to abundance. We go from not having x to I am grateful that I have x.

A process called neuroplasticity shows that the neural networks in our brains are able to change through growth and reorganisation (Wikipedia). In simple terms, we can re-write our brains by training it. How? By shifting our thoughts and mindset.

This is what happens when we practice gratitude. We are training our brain to recognise the good in a situation, to recognise the opportunity, to recognise what we do already have, instead of focusing on what’s lacking.

And there is only one way to practice gratitude: in this very moment. We cannot be grateful while being sad. We cannot experience any other emotion while being grateful, that’s the power and beauty of it. Where gratitude exists, the present moment is used to its fullest: to recognise our blessings.

Start with thinking about 1-3 things you can be grateful for when you wake up or go to sleep. Proceed by writing a gratitude list daily. You’ll notice the more you do this, the more things pop up which you can say thanks for. You don’t have to lok far for it: the simple fact that you are alive, reading this, and breathing, are things we often take for granted and is something you can definitely say thanks for.

3. From waiting on something to happen in order to be happy to living in joy right now

We are always thinking about the next big thing – the next day, the next presentation, the next gratification, the next trigger that gives us that hit of dopamine.

We have this picture in our minds of how things will go, and we keep telling us : I’ll be happy then. I’ll be happy when I make it through the end of the week and head into the weekend. But why can’t we be happy at the beginning of the week, or int he middle? Why do we feel the need to get through something in order to finally feel happy?

These boosts, these sort-lasting hits of dopamine we get through instant gratification are way different than the long-lasting joy we can access right now.

When we get back to this moment, we can let go of the worrying, the fantasising,

How can mindfulness help us access longlasting, inner joy in this moment instead of waiting for it to happen?

Simply guiding our attention to our breath, our surroundings can bring us back to this moment. When we are in this moment, we realise we have all that we need, right here, right now.

When we pay attention to our reality right now, we realise how wonderful it is and then, joy comes from within. Live like this everyday, and you’ll start to build up your inner “ball of joy”. That feeling of appreciation will get easier to access.

Train your mind to see the wonders of life in this very moment. Instead of looking for contentment in the future, trying to chase something that will never fill up the cravings, stop. Stop and feel the joy of this very moment.

How? By practising mindfulness. By paying attention: to the little things, to the big things, to the running water when you shower, to nature, to the clouds, to fresh air, to your bed, to every new morning you get to experience.

Simply guide your attention to the here and now. And you’ll notice that you’ll start to see your worries in your mind as what they try are: just thoughts. Not the truth.

Stay true to yourself. You’ve got this!

For more information on mindfulness, and how to exactly bring your attention back to this moment through breath, the 5 senses or many more ways, check out the other blogs on this topic, get your free copy of my mindfulness e-book or sign up for my weekly newsletter here.

If you’d like to have a deeper, private guidance with mindfulness, I’ve recently opened up 2 spots for private coaching. Sign up here for a free clarity call and let’s connect!

Mindful Self-Love In Your Daily Life

Happy Valentine’s Day! Today is all about showing love and appreciation to your loved ones. You might have seen a lot of self-love themed marketing campaigns, where companies try to sell you jewellery, skincare, flowers, chocolates, all to treat yourself. This is one way of showing yourself appreciation, yes, but there are a million other ways, less expensive, less big grand gestures, that we incorporate into our daily lives and show ourselves daily self-love.

Self-Compassion vs Self-Love

Recently, I wrote a blog post about mindful self-compassion, meaning giving ourselves exactly what we need in that moment and being our own best friend instead of enemy. However, self-love is different from self-compassion, Whereas self-compassion is more about compassion towards ourself, self-love is all about showing yourself appreciation!

In psychology, self-love is known to not be selfish, but necessary to have a healthy relationship with yourself (even in times of failure) while impacting others positively as well.

“It all starts with you! If you are not in a good place, characterised by balance, compassion, and inner peace, you are likely in no position to do your best work or be the best partner, parent, or friend that you can be.”

Courtney Ackerman, PositivePsychology.com

Benefits & the Why of Self-Love

Showing ourselves compassion and appreciation in the difficult moments is important because it helps us overcome it. A mindful approach would be: I acknowledge these feelings that I have, and I remain curious and open about them, while soothing myself knowing I am not alone in this, knowing this will not last forever, and I give myself what I feel is best for me in that moment,

The benefits of self-love range from protection against depression, greater happiness, more motivation in life to healthy relationships, and the list goes on.

Self-Love & the 5 Love Languages

As I mentioned before, self-love does not have to be a great, grand gesture, buying yourself something or spending money on something necessarily. There are 5 love languages: words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, physical touch and acts of service, If your love language is mainly gifts, then it would make sense if you’re happy buying yourself gifts. We all have a mixture of love languages, some might have been influenced by our childhood: how other people showed us love. Figuring out your love languages can help you navigate through relationships and understand the other person better, but it can also help you in practising self-love.

What is your biggest love language? How can you show that to yourself?

For example, mine are words of affirmation and quality time, therefore I love to schedule out some me-time, doing things I love or that make me feel good (spa night, manicure, cooking myself dinner, meditating, journaling,…) speaking of journalling, that goes into the “words of affirmation bucket, as I love to write myself a love letter, and also state affirmation in front of the mirror. its like shooting an arrow and hitting it right into the bullseye: giving yourself exactly what you value so much in other relationships.

The Little, Big Things

But let’s talk about the smaller, yet as important, ways on which we can incorporate self-love into our daily lives. Taking care of ourselves and our space is highly underrated.

Making your bed

Making your bed is a keystone habit, meaning it reflects other choices you take in life and it heightened your discipline, and reflects even your financial situation: it is one of the most important habits and also. way of showing yourself love: keeping the space where you rest, which is *highly* important, a safe and neat space.

Put your health and wellbeing first

Yesterday I had my annual dentist’s appointment, and I realised this is also a way of taking care of ourselves and showing ourselves that we are worth it, that we care about ourselves. You would not let someone you love abandon their health, would you? You would encourage them to take care of it. Even these less glamorous moments are the ones that count.

Making sure you drink enough water, get your vitamins, move your body, take care of your overall health and wellbeing is a great way to show yourself love on a daily basis without having to make big gestures.

Take care of your mental health, too

Mindfulness has drastically changed my life for the better, helping me overcome my severe anxiety, and it was also a way of self-love. I was taking medication doctors prescribed me against the anxiety, but actually I was not at all handling the root cause: my mind. I was trying to fix my body. But then, who knows for how long I would have taken those pills if it wasn’t for mindfulness? It was an investment of money, time and effort, going through an 8 week MBSR course (Mindfulness Bases Stress Reduction), but the benefits are here for a whole lifetime, as I continue to expand my mindfulness skills and am now teaching it, 6 years later.

Of course, I am not saying mindfulness can resolve any mental health issue or disease, so please talk to a health care professional first. I am just sharing my experience on this. Even a couple minutes of meditation a day is incredibly beneficial to you, and to reap those benefits all you have to do is schedule a bit of me-time during your day.

Release the guilt

As I mentioned before, it is necessary we give ourselves what we need in that specific moment. Whether that is a nap, a dessert, a video call with a friend, or a good run. But sometimes, we have this voice in our head judging us and making us feel guilty for having that ice-cream, binge-watching that show, skipping a run because we feel tired, etc. Releasing the guilt of not doing something is crucial here.

Imagine a friend is very tired from work, and they do not feel like going on a run with you. They are completely drained and much rather rest at home. Your reaction would not be: you are weak, you have to go for a run, how dare you rest, you need to move? No, your reaction would probably be: that is okay I totally understand, take all the rest you need.

So, why it is so difficult to have this approach to ourselves? It all has to do with self-talk and the way we look at ourselves. If we can bring in more of that appreciation and compassion, we can slowly by slowly change our self-talk and actually allow ourselves to do what feels right. I will discuss this further in the next chapter “self talk”.

Because, as with many things in life, restriction leads to binging. If we cannot have something, we want it so much more. While giving yourself what you need, that occasional ice cream (for example) is not a total distaster and you enjoy it mindfully and guilt-free.

Self-Talk

We are the person we talk to the most in our lives.

How do you talk to yourself? How do you see yourself? How would you like to see yourself? What would it take for you to see yourself that way?

I discussed this in my previous post about self-compassion: 1 component of mindful self-compassion is going from self-judgment to self kindness. We are our biggest critics. Sure, this protects us and this helps us in improving and being our own best selves, but it can also bring us down, make us feel small, helpless, a victim.

Instead of going that direction, notice it is *only* your inner critic judging you, and that you know better. You do not have to listen to it, you have to be aware of it. In that moment of awareness, you create space. Space for you to choose: will I get caught up in what my inner citric has to tell me, or will I say: not today?

As with a lot of things in life, the first step of being more kind to yourself and show yourself more self-love, compassion and appreciation, is becoming aware. Becoming aware of what your love language is, of how you talk to yourself, how you treat yourself, how you take care of yourself. That is where mindfulness steps in and helps us becoming aware on a non-judgmental, curious way.

If you’re curious right now about mindfulness, download my free e-book A Guide to Mindful Living here, or check out other blogposts about mindfulness. Listen to my podcast about mindful living and purposeful traveling during your next run, walk or commute, and let me know what you found of it!

Sending lots of love, and remember to be kind to yourself this Valentines day and any other day!

4 Mindful Steps to Self-Love

In all my years practising meditation and self-love, I’ve discovered 4 essential steps to self-love.

Research on self-compassion and self-love show it is associated with less stress, less anxiety, more optimism, better recovery from stress, and it paves the way to a positive mindset, which helps you overcome obstacles or challenges more.

Instead of making it hard on yourself by judging yourself or thinking negatively, you switch to a positive state of mind. Just think about how much we can accomplish, by being kind towards ourselves instead of hard.

1. Set an intention

In order to focus our internal compass on our true North, we have to set an intention first: to see the good in ourselves, so we can see it in others too. To send love and appreciation and compassion in ourselves, so we ourselves become more happier, loved and healthy.

The power of an intention is strong, because it seeks into your daily life. Self-love is a practice, so whenever you notice yourself thinking negatively abut yourself, whether that’s a negative body imagine, judging or comparing yourself – simply return to the intention you set, to love yourself. It allows us to celebrate our wins, and, in hard times, be gentle with ourselves. It’s treating ourselves as we would treat a friend who needs our help.

2. Write yourself a love letter

A practice I’ve discovered last year by listening to a talk from Elizabeth Gilbert on Insight Timer, has changed the way I handle this pandemic, lockdown, loneliness and so much more. In this talk, she discusses how we can face fear with compassion, and how writing a love letter to herself has helped her throughout decades of healing.

Of course, you are free to write whatever you want to, but here’s a guideline: dear x, I love you, and I know you can get through this. You got through everything so far, and I know you are strong and capable. I believe in you. I love xxx about you. I love how you are so xxx. etc. When you begin writing, you’ll notice a sense of relief, comfort, and love coming over you.

In this letter, you’ll basically write a letter to yourself, expressing your appreciation for everything you do, and expressing love and compassion towards yourself.

3. Say it out loud

Another practice that requires minimum time and gives you maximum levels of love, is practice saying it out loud to yourself. Stand in front of a mirror, set a timer for 1 minute, look yourself in your eyes and repeat the affirmation: I love you. I love you. I love you. Notice what feelings or emotions might arise, and continue to say it the whole minute. Challenge yourself to do this for a week, or a month, or anytime you feel like you need an extra dose of love.

3. Self-love & loving-kindness meditations

Let’s shift to meditation practices that are perfect to soothe yourself with some self-love. What I love about these meditations, is that they not only calm your mind and body, lower your blood pressure, calm your heart rate, improve your mood, so overall improve your emotional and physical health, they also fill you up, and recharge you, on levels you never even thought to visit.

Whether you are religious or spiritual or not, meditation is a beautiful practice that can be done by anyone really. Plus, it costs nothing to close your eyes, watch your breath and repeat affirmations, or visualise a scenario, or repeat a mantra, or simply keep focusing on your breath – but the benefits and consequences of it are priceless.

A loving-kindness meditation go like this: take a comfortable seat or lay down. Start by taking some deep, purposeful breaths, Next, start watching your breath. Whenever your attention wanders off, gently smile and bring it back to your breath. Next, picture yourself as a child. Re-visit that memory and gently repeat to yourself: may I be happy. May I be healthy, May I be peaceful. May I be safe. You can also picture people you love, or even the entire world. and repeat these affirmations, in order to send love to everyone out there.

If you’d like to know how a self-love meditation goes, I invite you to meditate with me on Insight Timer, on my Soothing Self-Love Meditation, In this meditation, we’ll fill ourselves up with the high feelings of love and spread it out into our world.

‘Tis the Season of Love: 3 Mindful Self-Compassion Practices

‘Tis the season of love. Friday’s full moon in Leo left us longing for (self)love and Valentine’s Day is approaching. The perfect time to take a look at how we can show ourselves some love.

So why do we need self-compassion? What can this do for you?

Self-compassion allows us to build up our emotional resilience through bringing in compassion, kindness and non-judgment to our feelings and emotions. It’s a way of soothing ourselves, and giving ourselves the comfort and sympathy we need when we are suffering, for whatever reason that might be: an angry email from a boss, the loss of a loved one, feelings of sadness or loneliness,…

Here are the 3 components of self-compassion.These practices are from MBSR – Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction. If you’d like to learn more about mindfulness, grab your free copy of my e-book, a guide to mindful living, or check out this beginners’ guide to mindfulness.

1. Self-kindness (vs self-judgment)

The first step of practising self-compassion is self-kindness: being warm and loving to ourselves, not matter what difficulty we are facing. You want to comfort yourself and help yourself to do whatever you can to make yourself feel better in that moment.

How do you talk to yourself, and about yourself? How do you see yourself? Do you constantly judge yourself for mistakes or being imperfect, or are you kind to yourself?

We often don’t realise this, but we tend to be way harder on ourselves than a loved one. We tend to judge ourselves, and see everything that is *wrong*, in our eyes.

So instead of beating yourself up and judging yourself, and becoming more stressed, sad and frustrated about it – try to bring in sympathy and compassion for yourself. After all, life is full of imperfections, failures and suffering – instead of making it worse, try making it lighter by accepting what is happening right now and being kind to yourself, however you feel and in whatever state you are in.

2. Mindfulness (vs over-identification)

In order to give yourself compassion, you first have to notice it, and that’s where mindfulness comes in.

Mindfulness is about observing your thoughts, feelings and emotions as they are, without judging them and identifying with them.

But mindfulness is also about sitting with your feelings and emotions and being with them.

Step away from that inner self-critic and observe your thoughts, feelings and emotions just as they are.

Instead of rushing through and looking for a solution, we acknowledge the situation first and check in with yourselves. What is happening? What do we really need right now?

3. Common Humanity (vs isolation)

Coming back to the suffering – in the moment, we often think: why does this happen to me? Why am I the one feeling like this right no? What have I done wrong to deserve any of this? Why is my boss not being more kind to me?

When things go wrong, we feel really cut off from others. While in fact, this is what makes us human. In fact, being human means being imperfect. Life goes wrong sometimes.

This is part of being human. You are not the only one who has these feelings, and you will never be the only one. Recognising that everyone has bad days, we can shift back to a state of compassion and knowing you are human and this is all part of the ride.

Connecting with other people is a very important aspect of our human experience – knowing you are not alone,

Maybe you’re currently in lockdown, in that case – I feel you and I am here for you. Check out my other blogposts on navigating trough a(nother) lockdown.

Check out these graphs and follow me on Instagram for more mindful living and purposeful travel content!

• 

• 

• 

•